What you'll discover
You won't be alone
Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
You may like cryptocurrency because it can
- Reduce the risk of fraud
- Increase crowdfunding
- Make the money transfer process more efficient
- Make e-commerce stronger
- Encourage scientific advancements
- Keep companies and individuals accountable
- Make foreign money transfers and transactions safer
- Offer a stable alternative to unstable currencies
- Give people control of their own money
and increase financial inclusion (providing easy access to useful and affordable financial products and services such as payments, savings, credit, and insurance) to over 1.7 billion people who remain under- or unbanked is important. The potential widespread use of digital finance (financial services delivered via mobile phones, the internet or cards) has been estimated to boost annual GDP of all emerging economies by $3.7 trillion, with two-thirds of the increase stemming from raised productivity of financial and non-financial businesses and governments as a result of digital payments, and the balance one-third from additional investment that broader financial inclusion of people and micro, small, and medium sized businesses would bring.
You have the power to make choices
Least risky
High risk / high reward for fun
Medium risk / high potential
Bitcoin (BTC) was the first cryptocurrency and the Bitcoin network has not been successfully hacked or broken since it was created in 2009. Don't worry about one single bitcoin being valued at many thousands of pounds. Bitcoins can be split into smaller units to ease and facilitate smaller transactions so you can buy fractions of a bitcoin. A satoshi is the smallest unit of a bitcoin, equivalent to 100 millionth of a bitcoin.
Ethereum (ETH) was the first alternative blockchain to introduce smart contracts written using the Solidity programming language and opening up the possibility of decentralised finance with globally distributed computing. There are other ecosystems offering these facilities but Ethereum has first-mover advantage and enjoys the largest community of developers. If Metcalfe's Law is valid then in 2021 if one compared the rate of growth in the number of nodes and transactions on the Ethereum network to the rate of growth in the number of nodes and transactions on the Bitcoin network one might expect the value of ETH to increase more rapidly than the value of BTC. Officially launched in 2015, this seven-year-old cryptocurrency has accumulated a staggering market capitalization nearing the half-a-trillion dollar mark. Ethereum is ranked as the world’s second-largest cryptocurrency (by market capitalization) and within a very short period of time has been center stage to some of the most extraordinary returns the world has ever seen.
Medium risk / high potential
High risk / high reward for fun
Medium risk / high potential
MultiversX (EGLD) and Polkadot (DOT) are, arguably, the two highest potential and exciting crypto ecosystems in development at present.
Elrond (now re-branded as MultiversX) uses adaptive sharding and secured proof-of-stake to make it both fast and secure. By the end of 2021 Elrond already had over 3000 validator nodes making it highly decentralised. It is capable of processing over 16000 transactions per second. Fees are .0001 EGLD per transaction. It has a circulating supply of 20 million and a maximum supply of 30 million and roughly 60% of the supply is staked with staking rewards around 10%.
Polkadot is a sharded heterogeneous multi-chain architecture that enables external networks as well as customized layer one "parachains" to communicate, creating an interconnected internet of blockchains.
Chainlink (LINK) was the first "oracle" implementation enabling on-chain smart contracts to reference off-chain data from traditional IT systems such as SAP. The Chainlink network provides reliable tamper-proof inputs and outputs for complex smart contracts on any blockchain. The CEO of Chainlink is Sergey Nazarov. Chainlink introduced the ERC677 transferAndCall token standard that lowers transaction costs and enables staking and more recently introduced Chainlink VRF that can generate verifiable random numbers for use in smart contracts. The LINK token is an ERC677 token that inherits functionality from the ERC20 token standard and allows token transfers to contain a data payload. It is used to pay node operators for retrieving data for smart contracts and also for deposits placed by node operators as required by contract creators.
High risk / high reward for fun
High risk / high reward for fun
High risk / high reward for fun
NFTs
A Non Fungible Token (NFT) proves you own a unique or limited edition digital asset that can be traded. Collect assets that have personal meaning and appeal to you or pick a category you guess may increase in market value over time. Here below are a few categories to consider:
1. Celebrity – e.g. created by or depicting somebody famous.
2. Memorabilia – e.g. depicting a memorable event, news story or recording moment.
3. Branding – e.g. a domain name (from ENS or Unstoppable Domains, or Decentraweb) that a company or institution is likely to wish to buy.
4. History – e.g. something minted on blockchain before NFTs became well known in 2021 or has an interesting back story.
5. Metaverse gaming item – e.g. land or equipment that endows you with an advantage in a game likely to enjoy sustained adoption.
6. Social – e.g. identifying the owner as a follower, member of a community or fanbase.
7. Original and potentially viral – e.g. a meme or item of fashion becoming famous/iconic in social media.
8. Credential – e.g. grants the owner authority, priority or discount in the use of a particular facility such as DeFi indexing or liquidity pool.
Consider on what NFT marketplace(s) you'll offer your NFT for sale and whether or not the blockchain network it resides on is likely to limit its tradeability. Find out about Top NFT Marketplaces of 2023.
Before exploring our Collectibles carefully read the "Zarniwoop V2 token valuation limitations" section of the Zarniwoop whitepaper that you'll find in our Library.
Regarding the future of NFTs, perhaps the most interesting blockchain platform in development at present is LUKSO. Verifiability is the future of ownership, and LUKSO is expanding on this idea by creating a blockchain tailored to the New Creative Economies, which include luxury, fashion, social media, music and the arts.
Choose wisely
Ethereum still attracts the most development
Ethereum still attracts the most development
Ethereum still attracts the most development
Do your own research
Ethereum still attracts the most development
Ethereum still attracts the most development
Every individual has their own particular set of circumstances, objectives and reasons for becoming involved in cryptocurrency.
Compare crypto to traditional assets
Ethereum still attracts the most development
Compare crypto to traditional assets
The market price of cryptocurrency tends to be volatile. New blockchain projects, coins and tokens are constantly appearing on the market while others will fall into disrepute and decrease in value. Marvin won't give financial advice but he may help you to develop an investment STRATEGY.
Consider a more decentralised future
Zarniwoop and Marvin are here to help
Diamonds can be artificially manufactured while other traditional stores of value on earth like gold or alternative so-called precious metals are very plentiful on some other planets and tend to be cumbersome and expensive to transport around. Limited supply and increasing demand make cryptocurrencies of more lasting universal value throughout the multiverse especially if quantum computing resistant cryptographic algorithms have been employed (not yet required on your instance of planet earth). Your national fiat currencies will have no value whatsoever after the instance of planet Earth upon which you are located has been destroyed by the Vogons. Zaphod Beeblebrox, whose grandfather knew Zarniwoop too, is working on behalf of the human race to avert this disaster and your donations of crypto through Marvin will help pay for Zaphod's psychiatric therapy so he can help save your planet. When Zaphod Beeblebrox went to find Zarniwoop on Ursa Minor Beta he said, "Marvin, just get this elevator to go up will you? We've got to get to Zarniwoop." "Why?" asked Marvin dolefully. "I don't know", said Zaphod, "but when I find him, he'd better have a very good reason for me wanting to see him." Now you know there was a good reason, but on the other hand you have different fingers.
Your planet is scheduled for demolition. We regret that for your instance of earth in the multiverse we have been unable to determine the most probable timing of this event but if you are reading this then the good news is that it hasn't happened yet.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Benefit from being an early adopter
A crypto market with room to grow
A crypto market with room to grow
A crypto market with room to grow
Total value stored in bitcoin and the crypto market is still tiny compared to other more traditional financial instruments.
If bitcoin matched private gold investments, JPMorgan predicts bitcoin's price could hit $146,000. Meanwhile, Ark Invest’s Cathie Wood estimated the cryptocurrency could even pass $500,000 if institutional investors spared just 5% of their portfolios for it.
The future of money is decentralised.
Marvin says, "For every action there is an equal and opposite government programme so the probability that cryptocurrency will help you become wealthy may not be as high as some crypto enthusiasts would have you believe."
The person (or group) called Satoshi Nakamoto invented bitcoin because they no longer believed in the current financial system and the way it functioned. As another member of the conspiracy to discover who actually ruled the universe Satoshi is, not surprisingly, well known to Zarniwoop who knows how to keep a secret. But Satoshi's Bitcoin whitepaper and many others are available in our library.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Users knowledgeable enough to send donations to the zarniwoop.crypto domain will receive no return but can be happy in the knowledge that their crypto won't get taxed and after they're gone it will be used elsewhere in the galaxy.
Building on success
A crypto market with room to grow
A crypto market with room to grow
Zarniwoop Vann Harl became editor-in-chief of The Guide when it was bought out by Infinidim Enterprises (now located on Saquo-Pilia Hensha) and he succeeded the previous editor-in-chief Stagyar-zil-Doggo. Following the astounding success of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy he decided to follow up with this Hodler's Guide.
As an executive of the Guide, Zarniwoop is masterminding the Guide's new all-powerful format. He recognised that a weakness in an earlier publication, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", was its failure to help humans invest in cryptocurrency and use the Interplanetary File System (IPFS) so that some of Earth's wealth could be harvested before it was destroyed by the Vogons. This Guide is a remedy.
Marvin recalls that Ford Prefect described Vann Harl as follows, "A commanding individual, who wasn't afraid to give out orders and expect them to be followed. He was a smooth talker, however he did not always bother with good manners, such as not putting his hand out towards Ford when introducing himself as his new boss. He had a sense of humour and occasionally made jokes, however they were usually at the expense of others. He had no trouble with firing members of staff or threatening to fire them, which he did to Ford several times. Harl was obsessed with the possibilities of the future, especially possibilities which involved him and InfiniDim Enterprises making a lot of money. He had no hesitations with changing how the Guide was sold, such as marketing it towards affluent business travellers instead of "penniless" hitchhikers."
Playbeing, who‘s office was co-located with Zarniwoop's old office in Light City on Ursa Minor Beta, still assists Zarniwoop with marketing the Guide but is separately owned by Megadodo Publications. Although it is excruciatingly rich, horrifyingly sunny and more full of wonderfully exciting people than a pomegranate is of pips, it can hardly be insignificant that when a recent edition of the magazine headlined an article with the words "When you are tired of Ursa Minor Beta you are tired of life", the suicide rate quadrupled overnight.
No financial advice in this guide
A crypto market with room to grow
No financial advice in this guide
The Guide gives no financial advice except to remind you that a bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it and when a bank warns that cryptocurrency may be used for money laundering just remember that every top 10 bank has been fined as £150 billion is laundered annually.
The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate. The Guide is an indispensable companion to all those who are keen to make sense of life in an infinitely complex and confusing multiverse, for though it cannot hope to be useful or informative on all matters, it does at least make the reassuring claim that where it is inaccurate it is at least definitively inaccurate. In cases of major discrepancy it’s always reality that’s got it wrong.
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
No mice were harmed in the construction of the Guide.